30.3.09

Despair is in the Air

I can't lie. Today I am broken. Actually I broke yesterday...
but today. I can't....
I can't pick myself.
Quiet storm.



Yesterday I found out that he was cheating, and has been lying to me about it for the last three years. Probably. "Ooh love I'm a fool to believe in you, 'cause I don't know...no I don't know anymore..."

I am releasing my self.
I just wish that someone would've told me. (But she did and I didn't believe her)

It hurts. Because I know this is what I get. This untruthfulness began with me. Or maybe it didn't. But, I can't blame the balance. I can't blame anything. These tears are to be tasted. These years were not spent wasted. But now I've gotta go.

I've been misreading the universe, thinking that I'm not supposed to be here... but I am.
I let a man trick me into believe I was inferior. Isn't that sad? That what he said about me was right. That I could not be saved without him. That he's supposed to be helping me. Helping me hurt? Stay in the back, don't say nothing... be my rib. I can't DO that anymore. It's KILLING me.

The funny thing is I can't even find him! LMAO. Stupid girl to believe he'd at LEAST be honest... let alone call me.




Moving on SUCKS. Especially when so much of my life revolves around him, my spirit grows out of our connection. I can see the lesson plain as day now and I wonder why it took this to get me here. But I don't wonder 'cause I know.

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