all this love

the goddess in me is continuing to give him love freely.
"i can't leave it's too late."
i hope the god in him does the same.

i'm not gon' lie, it seems as tho he's throwing himself on the mercy of the courts lol and it makes me very uneasy. but i think that's because i've never been here before. and i've never known what to do.

he's also still throwing shade. but that could be actual work he's doing. but who can trust him!? NOT ME!

elixir is a great album. i mean lotus flow3r and mplsound is also, but this one connects with me deeper because its from a woman's perspective. and its teaching me how to love.

i learned my place as a sacred wombman the other day. a healer lover and completing element.
i think i'ma suck it up and get a room. and see what we can work out.

Despair is in the Air

I can't lie. Today I am broken. Actually I broke yesterday...
but today. I can't....
I can't pick myself.
Quiet storm.



Yesterday I found out that he was cheating, and has been lying to me about it for the last three years. Probably. "Ooh love I'm a fool to believe in you, 'cause I don't know...no I don't know anymore..."

I am releasing my self.
I just wish that someone would've told me. (But she did and I didn't believe her)

It hurts. Because I know this is what I get. This untruthfulness began with me. Or maybe it didn't. But, I can't blame the balance. I can't blame anything. These tears are to be tasted. These years were not spent wasted. But now I've gotta go.

I've been misreading the universe, thinking that I'm not supposed to be here... but I am.
I let a man trick me into believe I was inferior. Isn't that sad? That what he said about me was right. That I could not be saved without him. That he's supposed to be helping me. Helping me hurt? Stay in the back, don't say nothing... be my rib. I can't DO that anymore. It's KILLING me.

The funny thing is I can't even find him! LMAO. Stupid girl to believe he'd at LEAST be honest... let alone call me.




Moving on SUCKS. Especially when so much of my life revolves around him, my spirit grows out of our connection. I can see the lesson plain as day now and I wonder why it took this to get me here. But I don't wonder 'cause I know.

The Tree of Life For REAL!!

AMEN

And it all makes sense. Kemi people were so surreal.
The Original Man was unity. Of all of these things liftin up the Most High. I can't get mad at brothers that swear that they are everything... 'cause they are lol.

As a young lady I was rather perturbed with the idea that woman was made for man and vice versa, because I felt like it was such a cop-out, a route to an empty existence. But as a woman I love the fact that I get to be devoted to a GREAT man. My place in it all is love. So that's what I'm gonna bring.

YEP. We'll save the world, just you watch!

the seed.
The conditioned is the flower and the fruit
Knowledge is the branch
and the truth is the root
Look and see where the root is;
happiness shall be yours when
you come to the root
it will lead you to the branch, the leaf, the flower, and the fruit.